| Sunday March 28,
2008: Myrtle here...you know who this is... I've about had it with the Girl. Such noise she made this summer in the room below. Loud, noisy...no wonder I've been pooping more. And it continues, too. I'm content with the fact that it's never gonna stop. No amount of poo in the slippers, on the pillow, or ANYWHERE seems to change things---well, it does mean less treats for me. But cripes---I need PEACE. PEACE, I tell you! I'm too old for this. Can't she help a poor cat out? I am Myrtle...my world is starting to crater... Poosday March 4, 2008: Myrtle here...you know who this is... Simple words for you simple folks... poo... poo.... POO... That's #2 Trebek... nothing more to be said. poo is IT. I am Myrtle....you heard me right... Sunday December 23, 2007: Myrtle here...you know who this is... i guess I should be polite and wish you Happy Holidays. But alas, I must unburden myself... Please, please, please....all you people out there that have a similar arrangement, like I do with the Girl? Please, on behalf of all domestic animals everywhere, be kind to your pets. We really do run the household when you think about it, and yes....we have the power to poo anywhere, at anytime. No, this isn't a threat---it's just a fact. So, if you're like the Girl and make awful racket that hurts the ears, then for the love of all that's furry, please reward your pets with treats. It won't save our ears, but it will save our pooping on your pillow. I am Myrtle...yeah, Happy Holidays....fine... Tuesday October 23, 2007: Myrtle here... Hmmm...the Girl has been a bit nervous for a couple days. She hasn't gone to that downstairs place to make that awful racket, for which I'm thankful. But she slept on the couch last night. Hey, I didn't mind---made it all the easier for me to poop on her pillow if I wanted to. I decided to spare her the cleanup--she seems to be a bit preoccupied. But no matter to me. I've been resting, sleeping, all is good in my world. I do see the Girl packing a bit, and she bought me some new litter. Hmmm...why is she packing my medicine? Well, no matter to me. I'm eating and sleeping even though it's a bit warm here. Uh oh, what's she doing? She's getting my CADDY READY?!?! WHAT?!!? NOOO! I do NOT want to go in there!! What is she doing that for?!?! I'm gonna put up a fight if I have to go in that thing!! Am I off to the vet again? Am I getting shaved? WHAT'S GOING ON?! No caddy, no caddy!! Well, I'll get a good poop going if I have to stay in that thing. She'll regret it...hehe...yes, she will... I am Myrtle...don't you FREAKING put me in that caddy... Sunday August 12, 2007: Yeah, it's me, Myrtle...you know who this is... It's about time the Girl let me on this thing again. Sheesh... I'm pooping a lot. I'm complaining a lot. Am I getting the attention I deserve? Of course not! The Girl is rarely home; not even my pooping on the bed results in her sticking around to shower me with attention. I even forced up a hairball right in front of her; all she does is clean it up, goes downstairs, and makes that dreaded noise. Ugh, that noise... I long for a peaceful existence. That is all I ever wanted. Have I ever gotten it? No. Will I ever? All signs are pointing to no. I'm done; I give up. Do any of you have any suggestions as to how to make my life easier? Though I could run away, I won't...the Girl won't let me out of the house. Please contact the Girl with any suggestions you may have! I am nearing my wit's end, which surprises even myself. I am Myrtle...I need help! Saturday March 10, 2007: Yeah, it's me, Myrtle...you know who this is... I've been pooping on the Girl's bed. Is it because I'm not being fed enough? No. Is it because I'm not given the attention I deserve? No...though I always deserve attention. It's because of that noise....that noise...that noise that erupts from the garage. The sound makes me wince in pain. The sound makes me cover my ears. The sound....makes me poop on the bed. I almost can't control it. Once there's noise, out comes the surprise. Pure reaction. Noise, surprise. Noise, surprise. I can't help it. What am I supposed to do? If you want the pooping to stop, stop the noise and save the rest of the neighborhood cats from pooping too...unless it's just me...probably... I am Myrtle...I am in pain..... Monday January 1, 2007: Yeah, happy freakin' New Year... Yeah I'm Myrtle....tell me something else you think you know... Thursday Rocktober 5, 2006: ...what i've been through.... ....what i've been through.... no words can describe what i, the head of this household, has been through... i've been shaved.... i was bit by another cat while getting shaved... i got sick... i poo'd on the girl's bedspread... i had what they called, "worms". i don't know what that means, but it didn't make me feel good... and, to top it off, my butt got what i understand as a "clean, close shave", down to my white skin, so Bearded White-Coat man could look at the bite i got from my "neighbor". oh, did i mention, i also had a bout of fleas? basically, as a result of all this, i'm just permanently mad. mad, mad, mad. i may purr, but i'll swat you two minutes later. my poo flies with a speed-of-light thrust. whatever you do, whatever you do, just don't bite me. i am myrtle...speed-of-light, people.... Friday March 31, 2006: I don't know why she's making me do this. frankly, I've been fine and content by not spewing my frustrations on my page. instead, I've been spewing out my frustrations in other ways: yakking on the girl's bed, pooping by the girl's pillow, waking up the girl in the dark just because I can. and I must say, that's been quite a lot of fun; the girl has to handle my "discharge". hehehehe…it totally interrupts her! which is the goal, isn't it? to prevent the girl from making any more noise. *humpf* it's so frustrating! there is nothing else that disturbs Me more…well, with the exception of the occasional shavings. you think I'm spoiled? do you? I dare you to compare my situation with any others, and then we'll see who's spoiled. besides, I can find out where your pillow is…I have my resources… My name is Myrtle…I have my resources. |